The Bean Incident
by mongeese
Summary: In which James tries to convince Lily he can tell apart the good Bertie Botts from the bad Bertie Botts.


Disclaimer: Not Mine. JK's.

**AN**: Just a small story I couldn't get out of my head, please excuse the small errors. :D . All flavors are apparently real flavors in the Harry Potter world. :D .

This takes place post-hate and pre-love, probably two months after my first oneshot, although you don't have to read that to get this one.

So its a small friendship ficlet when James still likes her, but isn't being a little boy about it and Lily actually just considers him a friend.

Enjoy.

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**The Bean Incident  
**

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It'd been an ordinary evening, with the Head girl and boy going over patrolling schedules, when all of a sudden, the Head boy asked, "do you have a superpower?"

She raised an eyebrow at him.

"James, you can do _magic_, according to muggles, that in itself is considered a superpower."

"No really, do you?"

Seeing the seriousness in his face, she paused to think.

"…well, _actually_, I'm rather good at walking into a room and knowing whether the television is on or not. Even _without_ the sound on." Lily added.

James nodded in grave seriousness, "I know what a tellyvision is."

"You do?"

"Sirius told me they're boxes, where you can put tiny little muggles in, and they entertain you."

"He told you _what_?"

"Padfoot told me, that tellyvisions were boxes where a muggle can choose to buy tiny, tiny muggles to entertain. They live _inside_ the boxes, and dance and sing. Right?"

Lily laughed.

"James, we don't buy tiny muggles. They're normal sized muggles that we_ film_."

He needed more explaining to understand, so Lily just smiled and shook her head.

"I'll explain it to you some other time, anyways, I can tell when those are on or off. I get this weird zing."

He still looked lost.

"What about you?"

"Well, _I_- wait for it," Dramatic pause, "can tell apart the _good_ flavors of Bertie Botts from the _bad_ ones."

He spread his arms apart as if to welcome her coming praise.

It never came, and he frowned.

"_Everyone_ 'ohs' and 'aws' when I tell them," He frowned, "where's yours?"

Lily scoffed, "I could do that. All the beans look different."

"Lies. They're identical. I can tell them apart."

After a while of '_cannots_' and '_cans_,' and a '_shut the bloody hell up_' from Sirius on the other side of the room, the two decided to settle the matter once and for all.

The two snuck out (on a school night) all the way to Honeydukes, and came back with a galleon worth of Bertie Botts' beans. James dumped them on the table when they got back into the Gryffindor common room.

"Try me."

So Lily suspiciously picked up two light green colored beans.

"Both acid." He pointed to another, seemingly identical light green colored bean, "_this_ one is lime though."

"You could be making that up!"

"Try it."

Lily, in particular hated Bertie Botts' beans, but she popped the two 'acid' flavored beans into her mouth, chewed, then spit them out. She picked up the other bean and chewed quickly. Surprisingly, it was lime.

He grinned smugly.

"Lucky break. These." She pointed at two beige beans with yellow spots on them.

The rotten egg and custard he said turned out to be right.

A whole list of blueberries and sardines; grass and green apple; earwax and toffee; tripe and vanilla; strawberry mousse and liver; compost and toast; honey and toenails; and a little more later, Lily was slowly starting to believe James Potter _did_, in fact, have a superpower to determine good and bad beans.

"Okay, last one. _These_." Lily said, holding up two light orange with speckled darker oranges.

James barely cast them a glance, he pointed to her left hand, "mango," then her right, "vomit. And I particularly like mango, so I'll take that, thank you!"

Unable to protest she like mango as well, the bean on the left was snatched out of her hand and thrown into the mouth of James Potter. She stared at the vomit bean in her right hand, no way in hell was she going to eat that.

A choking and coughing sound got Lily to look up in time to see James spit out the bean from his mouth.

"_Vomit_."

She burst out laughing.

"You _almost_ had me."

"I got _one_ wrong, out of, what, the thirty you tested me with?" He protested, "It was just a faulty choice, I still have my superpower."

"_Uh_-uh. Superpowers need to always be on. You got one wrong, therefore, _you_, James Potter, are superpower-_less_."

"If I could have tested you with your tellyvisions, I still wouldn't have because I trust you heart, mind and _soul_, you can't do the same for me Evans?" He gave a pathetic pout.

"Nope." She grinned and looked at the alleged vomit flavored bean in her hand, "so _this_ one must be mango. Cheers."

She happily chewed on the bean for a second before realization dawned on her and she spit it out as well.

"Potter, they're _both_ vomit!"

And they both broke into giggles.


End file.
